Brian's Wargame Pages:

   Guide to Munchkins

Field Guide to Wargamers:


Munchkinus Workshopius, Vulgaris & Argentis

Anyone who has ever ventured into the alien habitats known as "rec.games.miniatures.warhammer" or "the local GW store" will know that the Common or Vulgar Fanboy, also known as the GW Munchkin (munchkini workshopius vulgaris), is a creature remarkably short on sense, although apparently long on disposable income and also regrettably common. This species can also be quite dangerous, especially to those possessing common sense, the nerve to question the GW Way, or any maturity at all. Following the advice of a fellow GZG-L listmember is recommended:

If attacked by a rabid Fanboy, remember, they have a nasty contagious bite, have utterly no regard for their own safety or that of their fellows, and apparently are ferocious in close combat, BUT (like all creatures in the GW universe) have little in the way of effective ranged weapons - not a flaw to have when attacking a typical Tuffleyverse gamer - I'd say a long range salvo with a HAMR, some mid range fire with an Auto GL, and some close in fire with a Combat Shotgun ought to just about do for the little buggers. And if they get close enough, hunker down in your bunker then detonate your CDM field and call in some Final Protective Fire from the Ortillery. When you come out, all that should be left are bits... and we all know that's all that ever gets left of Sp*ce M*rines anyways.... Adeptus My HairyButtus. They never saw a good officer, a tactics manual, or a whiff of combined arms doctrine.... Tom Barclay

There is also a species known as the Greater or Paid GW Munchkin (munchkini workshopius argentis, from the Latin for money); it is typically physically larger (frequently in the horizontal direction), reputedly much more dedicated and persistent, although lacking the outright rabid berserker attitude of some specimens of the Common or Vulgar Munchkin. The Paid Munchkin is also rarer than the Common Munchkin. Both species can also be found in the habitat known as the "Gaming Convention", although the Greater or Paid Munchkin is the only one known to inhabit the subhabitat "GW Merchandise Booth".

It is possible to rescue Vulgar Fanboys and turn them into reasonable specimens of mature wargamers. This takes some work by dedicated volunteers, and does not always succeed. Almost as frequent are cases of Vulgar Fanboys undergoing self-started processes of conversion into mature wargamers - many of these specimens are indistinguishable from those who never started as Fanboys at all. It is generally acknowledged that the Greater Fanboy is beyond help, although this might not always be the case.

There are also non-workshopius Munchkins; these include the CCG Munchkin (munchkini wotcius) and other species not yet classified.

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