HOTT battle report from a friend

This is a battle report from the old Warbard – Corey

These two battles were fought between myself[Brian] & a friend; they were his first and second Hordes games. He later wrote this battle report and sent it to me. It makes a nice change from the three Dwarven-propaganda ones I wrote!

In the first battle, I set up with my swordsmen in the centre, with two groups of two knights on the flanks. The [human] army was led by the mage Dughan the Smitten. Bardur’s army of dwarves stood before the gates of their fortress, drinking and laughing at the preposterousness of the skinny folk across the field. The Human knights rushed forth and charged the dwarven crossbowmen, and were crushed for their daring effort. With the Dwarven airboat, “Flight of Gandeer”, harassing the right flank, Bardur Stormhammer challenged the magician to settle their differences, man to dwarf. Of course, Dughan, remembering his mentor’s warning never to mess with a drunken dwarf, turned poor Bardur into a mole! Greatly distressed, the remaining dwarves carried their Hero back to the stronghold in the Iron Goblet. The dwarves shall not forget that magic is for more than the pansy elves ever again…

Several days followed with the dwarven smiths forging runes to remove the hex on Bardur, then the humans again assaulted Bardur’s stronghold. Bardur, remembering his days as short-snouted rodent, was not so hasty to attack that dastardly magician. Instead, he sent his crossbow-armed dwarves after Dughan, who proceeded to run around the board in fear of the satanic devices of the heathen dwarves. Finally, Bardur had had enough! He called to his axedwarves to charge the scattered and segmented line of swordsmen. Unfortunately, his dwarves were unable to hear him over their excessive taunting of the fleeing sorcerer, and he ended up alone, surrounded by human swordsmen. Thus ended Bardur’s short reign as Lord of Gandeer’s Keep. May the Runes be with him.

Dughan, for what it’s worth, stole forty barrels of Bardur’s finest stout, and got very, very drunk. Unfortunately, he forgot to give the King his share in taxes, and was sent to the dungeon. He is still there to this day. And he is still drunk (dwarvish brews are well known for their potency, and many a lay has been sung about the hundred year hangovers that they tend to induce in the wine drinking elves). The dwarves of Gandeer’s Keep have sworn that the pickled blood of Dughan shall not go to waste, and that it shall be returned to them. By force if necessary. All forty barrels of it (with the impurities filtered out).

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